‘Twas the night before Christmas when all through the land Not a soul was experiencing the year they had planned. The facemasks hung drying by the chimney with care In hopes that a vaccine soon would be there. The children were nestled all snug in their beds While visions of playdates danced in their heads.
And pa in his sweatpants and I in my wrap Had just settled in for our seventh nightcap. When there on the news there arose such a clatter I unmuted the dial to see what was the matter. Another bleak figure filled with despair Awaited the viewers who joined them on air.
As a year on the books, this one royally blew All thanks to a mutated strain of bat flu. When what to my weary eyes should appear But a doctor from Brooklyn and a message so clear. With an accent I found both soothing and grouchy, I knew in an instant it must be our Fauci.
More trusted than gospel, the words he proclaimed. And listeners hushed as he praised them by name. “Go doctors! Go nurses! Go grocery store clerkers! On teachers! On truckers! On all frontline workers! Flatten that curve, bend it down small, Vaccinate, Vaccinate, Vaccinate all!”
But just at that moment, misinformation was spreading, Faster than covid at an unmasked wedding. Through the internet, these lies, how they flew, Via twitter, and Newsmax, and your weird uncle, too. Then, rising through the air like a sourdough starter Came a comforting voice telling us to be smarter.
As I leaned in to hear Almost-President Biden I felt my blood pressure slowly subsidin’. His eyes, how they twinkled! His teeth, how bright white! Could it be possible, we might be alright? “Hang on, gang,” he said. “We’ll take it from here, To end the pandemic, our mission is clear.
“With that, I’ll hand it back over to Tony, Who will tell you how to avoid this fake news baloney.” A wink of his eye and Fauci was back To explain how to avoid the frauds and the quacks. “To get back to normal will require some work, Like masking, and zooming, and not being a jerk.”
“So be kind to your neighbor and trust what is true From PhD scientists, not YouTube gurus.” Twenty-six days until the momentous swear-in And away goes this year, like the repute of a Karen. But I heard him exclaim as I nipped at my flask,
“ENJOY CHRISTMAS AT HOME AND WEAR YOUR DAMN MASK!”