Thanks to Len Andrew for sharing them.
Puns for Educated Minds
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
4. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
5. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
6. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
7. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
8. A backward poet writes inverse.
9. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
10. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
11. There was a person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.