"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O'Brien
"Grandchildren don't make a man feel old, it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work." - Hy Gardner
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old." - Mark Twain
"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett
"There's one advantage to being 102, there's no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"At my age 'getting lucky' means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." – George Burns
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." –George Burns
"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there." - George Burns
"People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns
"When I turned 75, I started telling people I was 85 just so they would tell me how great I look for my age." – Anonymous
Save the trees, or . . .