Flaco vs. the Ornery Ornithologist
When Flaco the owl fled the Central Park Zoo,
Through vandalized mesh (yeah, so what else is new?)
The renowned ornithologist, Dr. Olive O’Duff,
Said, “We must capture that bird and I know my stuff.
What bird in his right mind survives in New Yawk?
He’ll get eaten and chomped by a rat or a hawk.
He will nibble on poison, sriracha and hoisin.
He’s nuts as a loon, thinks he’s out for a lark.
Get him back in his cage! Get him back before dark!”
But Flaco the owl, now as free as a bird,
Flew to places of which he only had heard.
Bergdorf’s and MoMA, the Highline, the Met,
Off on a flight he would never forget:
“It’s a hoot and a howl and a hot hootenanny,
Exploring Manhattan, each nook and each cranny.”
Ah, but Dr. O’Duff said, “I gotta be tough,
This Flaco is wacko, and enough is enough.
It’s for the bird, I’m his staunchest proponent,
I value his vigor, that worthy opponent.
Does he think he’ll survive outside of captivity?
Bait the traps, men, and damn his proclivity!
Flaco, meanwhile, was nothing but smiles,
Flying o’er rooftops and mocking gargoyles.
Bird watchers watched him and pointed and stared.
“You’ll never taste freedom if you haven’t dared.
You don’t need to be smart,
Just sharpen your claws,
Keep your hearing superb.”
He was met with applause.
When Olive O’ heard this, her feathers were ruffled,
She said to her minions in a voice soft and muffled:
“Flaco has taught me, better shoot for the moon,
Be brisk, take the risk, and owl’ll be seeing you soon.”
— Lou Craft, Metropolitan Diary, NY Times, March 26, 2023
In case you’ve missed The Adventures of Flaco, copy and past this into your browser (the thing you search the Internet with):
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/03/03/nyregion/flaco-owl-central-park-nyc.html
Contributed by Jane Hart