One Liners . . . Philosophically Speaking

  • Intelligence is like underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off.

  • Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.

  • You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.

  • A conclusion is the part where you get tired of thinking.

  • My resolution was to read more. So I put the subtitles on my television.

  • Maybe if we tell people that the brain is an app then they will start using it.

  • You have two parts of the brain: the “right” and the “left.” In the left side there is nothing right, and in the right side there is nothing left.

  • The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.

Contributed by Bob Abramovitz