#1 - Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.
#2 - “In Style” are the clothes that still fit.
#3 - You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.
#4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work. #5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, “I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it.” #6 - “On time” is when you get there. #7 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it sure does muffle the sound. #8 - It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller! #9 - Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you. #10 - Growing old should have taken longer. #11 - Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up. #12 - You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will.. And one more: “One for the road” means peeing before you leave the house.
Thanks to Sally Kellock for sending these.